20230108 Integration¶
Welcome¶
Good morning, my name is Clifton Bartholomew, and I am a local preacher here at UMC.
It is always so good to share with you all. Welcome again to any visitors and to all our online guests as well.
I always like to say before I preach that I am a teacher by training and so I am very used to being interrupted. If anyone is brave enough to raise their hand and ask a question or give an input, it is warmly welcomed.
Introduction¶
Jab 1 - My early faith/life dichotomy¶
My early experience of being a Christian was tough. I constantly felt torn between two worlds. One world was the world of church, God and spirituality and the other was life, friends and girlfriends. I struggled with the perceived expectation of a Christian. Particularly surrounding holiness and mission.
In high school/university I dreaded the idea of introducing my school friends to my church friends. They were far too debaucherous and would tarnish my image. And visa versa, I didn't want to pollute my church friends with my school friends. We shared something sacred. Something higher. It felt like there was this tearing within myself between the two sides of me: the desire to be holy, disciplined, spiritual, to know God AND the desire to fit in, to be fun, to have fun, to be perceived as a great guy to be around.
I was always somewhere within asking the questions: "Am I a good enough Christian?" and "Am I a good enough friend?", "Can I be both?", "Am I doing enough as a Christian in the world?", "Am I doing enough as a friend?" I never quite felt at home in either space.
I wonder if you experience any of these same feelings or thoughts?
Jab 2 - Story of a dog¶
There is fun story told by a Chinese theologian Watchman Neeman:
Jab 3 - Integration and integrity¶
Isn't this a great story? It reminds us that God doesn't care what we do, but he cares about who we are. We can't be effective in the world when we are spending a ton of energy continually questioning ourselves. Because to be a Christian in the world or just being a person with integrity, a sense of justice and love is hard work and takes a ton of courage. Jesus didn't come to Earth to be a nice guy. He came to bring - Justice - Sight - Freedom of oppression. He came to shake and stir. These are difficult tasks. And to try and do this with an internal divide or guilt or shame doesnt work.
We need to know who we are. We need to resolve conflicts and fragments within ourselves within ourselves. But is a lot harder than it sounds. I have a few words that I want to share today, I think just knowing a word creates power. The first word is "INTEGRATE". Carl Jung, a famous psychologist speaks about shadow work. Resolving this sense of tearing within. He says:
Right Hook - The big task¶
We are called to a big task. To change the world. To be light and salt in the world. To be people of integrity. In order to do this we need to journey to wholeness. This is something I see missing in a lot of us. We do not take the time to discover who we are.
Todays reading has a lot to teach us in this regard specifically through the practice of baptism and it starts at the beginning of Jesus ministry. Before he has done anything. There are three things which we can learn.
Explanation¶
Teaching Point 1 - It must start with repentance¶
Jesus ministry and movement starts with him being baptised by a reluctant John. John was getting people to repent and be baptised "for the kingdom of God is near". For John, the kingdom of heaven requires upstanding people. People who are willing to admit to their darker self, to want to move past that and come to a place of wholeness. Kingdom work requires holy people, but we can't get to holiness unless we start with repentance and baptism symbolizes this for us. Dying to the old, rising to the new. Before we can change the world, we must change our minds. Repent and be baptised.
Just a side note here, that while there is nothing that Jesus needed to repent for or a need for him to be baptised, he still goes through with the baptism in order to "fulfil all righteousness". He shows us the way.
Teaching Point 2 - Baptism gives us identity and identity gives us power¶
I have always connected this reading with a very specific scene from the Lion King. If you haven't watched it, Simba (the next inline to lead the kingdom) is cast out of the kingdom at a young age, his father is killed by his uncle Scar, he grows up in the jungle with Timone and Pumba and eventually Rafiki discovers he is alive and calls him back to save the dying kingdom. This is their first interaction in the movie.
Play movie.
You are my son with whom I am well pleased.
Whenever we feel doubt or disjointedness, we need to reflect on what God said to Jesus during his baptism and how this also applies to us.
Teaching Point 3 - Baptism frees us deal with the devil in the desert¶
Immediately after Jesus' baptism and before his preaching and healing and the start of the movement, he enters into the desert to confront the devil.
Confronting the devil, confronting demons, confronting the darkness within. This has to be done before we can make change in the world. And it is not done once, it must be done over and over. Baptism prepares us for the mission by starting a journey of integration. We see the same with Simba. He has to confront his inner pains before he operates in the kingdom.
Application¶
As I get older I am learning more about what it means to be a Christian or even just what it means to be a person in the world. Now the only reason why I am a Christian is because I was born into a Christian family. So over the years I have wrestled with the questions, why am I a Christian? What does it mean to be a Christian? My short version of this so far in all my studies and reflections is to be a Christian is:
to have a relationship with God and to make change in the world.
And I am most effective when I am not pulled many different ways internally through anxiety, depression, doubt, or any other form of internal fragmentation. So I want to give us a few practices that have made changes in my life that help me to integrate the parts into the whole. Deal with guilt and shame. Understand these things as a part of me, a part of all of us rather than something we need to get rid of. And then I would like to open up to the congregation to share in wisdom with each other.
Put up the word for each. This is the Wesleyan path of moving from repentance -> faith -> holiness.
Action 1 - learn repentance¶
- Repentance is the changing of our mind. It is a reflective process of shining light on our whole.
- Repentance is actually quite a special task (it is often associated with guilt and shame).
- We must remember that we all have fragmented internals, we need to spend time shining the light. (Even the queen swears).
- Repentance is hard (it can feel like dying).
- Find out what it means to you, choose carefully how you repent though - be in it for the long run - long term change vs short term shame.
Action 2 - grow faith through reflection¶
- Faith means complete trust.
- How do you grow faith in a marriage? By going through tough times together, by being there for each other. Takes time.
- Faith is not made, it is discovered. Spend time looking backwards at what God has done in your life. Spend time in reflection at different resolutions. Daily, quarterly, annually.
- In the words of Rafiki - look harder.
Action 3 - aim high in holiness¶
- Holiness is being set apart, rising above.
- The order here is important - repentance -> faith -> holiness.
- You cant learn humility from a book but you can learn it from sweeping.
- You grow in holiness every time you choose to be different, to do the hard thing, to do the right thing.
I wonder if anyone else has practices that help us to integrate the many parts of us, particularly the addictive parts, the guilty parts, the parts where we think we are bad for believing something.
One Liner¶
Remember who you are - integration through baptism