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UMC20240926 - Discomfort is uncomfortable

For many years I have been reading about and trying to practice the art of living in the present moment. Eckhart Tolle says that ".. your primary purpose in life is to bring consciousness into the world", which we would call "bringing about the Kingdom of God". I always thought that this would be an incredibly pleasant way of living, that if you meditate enough, pray enough and plan enough, you can live your live in constant peace, in the moment, loving life. Yet, I still feel like I am waiting for that to happen! My heart is constantly searching for a resting place, anxiety is still there.

One of the places I go to for "rest" most often is YouTube. The perpetual lie that I find my unconscious mind believing is the thought that: "You are tired, watch one 5 minute video to restore yourself, then you will be more productive." I find that any time I hit discomfort in my work day I get the urge to pick up my phone and escape. Whether it is while marking, doing my budget or even while doing a hobby, slight discomfort makes me want to flick over to a quick dopamine hit.

There is an itchiness in my soul that I just can't seem to scratch.

One thought which I am pondering at the moment is that living in the present moment means dealing with life and not running away. This is scary. It is not a promise of ease. I wonder if this is what Jesus meant when he said "pick up your cross and follow me". Maybe the full life that Jesus promises is not easy going, but I think it is the only way worth living.

I am coming to terms with the fact that discomfort is uncomfortable. My mantra for this week is going to be the words of St Augustine: "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds rest in you."

Love, Cliff

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