UMC20220721 School is back

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UMC20220721 - School is back¶

School is back this week! I thought I was ready to take on the new term. I had prepared for many days in the holidays. But this first week has been demotivating for me. I have felt mostly panic and that I haven’t been getting to everything that I need to in my work. It really knocks one's confidence when one feels incompetent. I wonder if you have felt this way recently?

One way that I try and reflect on my internal state is through writing in a journal. Reading back this week on past entries, I have noticed a pattern in how I sometimes journal. I have a “pep-talk” kind of writing. Things like “You are a dedicated teacher, pay attention to your students today” or prayers like “Lord may I be a good husband today, may I learn to submit, listen and love Dom fully”. I find this kind of prayerful, affirmation-style writing a great way to remind myself of biblical truths about who I am and what I want to do in the world.

Paul uses this kind of affirmation in his letters to the churches. He uses words like chosen, elite, set apart, holy, saved, forgiven, sons, and daughters. These are powerful words spoken over these early followers and these words become lights in our sometimes dark world.

An important, yet difficult part of spiritual maturity is training our inner voice to speak life and hope into our lives. This is often quite difficult when we experience real and negative emotions during difficult circumstances. If you are someone like myself who is prone to further pushing yourself down with thoughts of inadequacy, reasons you have failed, reasons why you are bad at what you do; then maybe this week is a time to think about how you can move one step closer to breaking that cycle.

This week I am going to write in my diary that I cannot do everything, but I can surrender to a God who is moving the universe forward. I am a small part of a large movement.

Love Cliff.